Whether you remained single during your career or not, there was some type of support system that surrounded you from the beginning to your last call. For this reason, it’s important to challenge yourself to look at the retirement chapter of your life as your new profession.
Give yourself a chance to settle into retirement life and to embrace any setbacks, as you did when you first were hired. You might not have all of the answers in retirement, but you can tackle new opportunities with the same vigor that you did during your fire service career.
Furthermore, although you might face physical and emotional challenges, you must recognize that there are resources that are available to assist you.
Stay the course
Being retired doesn’t mean that you aren’t a firefighter anymore in the professional sense. You still can look for opportunities to help others. Some circumstances might be thrust on you, where you feel empowered to assist others who are in need and you use your life experience in the fire service to make a difference. Once a firefighter, always a firefighter. You are part of a special group that was there before you and will be there after you.
Also, embrace your success and accomplishments. Always remember that, at some point during your career, you made a difference in the life of countless people. Some of them might have shared what you did for them and/or meant to them, but, no matter the case, you mattered. Stay the course and be proud of who you were, are and will become.
Two of the most influential firefighters who stumbled after a long career and survived the nightmares and stress of firefighting are “Buck” and “Dad.”
Buck
Buck is an avid inventor, entrepreneur, dreamer and lifelong firefighter. He started and finished sitting backward.
When Buck retired, he struggled to find purpose. He worked odd jobs to keep busy and, finally, became a fire marshal at a college. Did he take the job to feel important and to prove that he was more than a firefighter? Not so much. He wanted to find a position that offered service to others. He did it to have purpose and drive, much like he did when he started his firefighting career.
The only problem for Buck was that he didn’t address the elephant in the room: He wasn’t needed by the citizens who he served for 30 years. He was an ancillary authoritative person who checked boxes and enforced codes.
After his firefighting career, Buck willingly spent years in marriage counseling to work on the transition from the “boys club” to being a husband, father and grandfather, and that strengthened his relationship with his entire family.
Recognizing that you can’t cope without the fire service is the first step.
Most of the time, firefighters’ therapy is on the rig or at kitchen table after a call, but it takes courage to share your experiences with someone who didn’t share the same experiences.
Buck now is completely retired and living to enjoy his family and future. His only regret is that he didn’t seek help sooner. In the fire service, we tend to feel invincible and to portray a Teflon exterior.
Over a long career, just like Buck, all of us will see and experience the highs and lows of service to those who are in their most vulnerable time. We believe that we are immune to the trauma that we see. We form the exterior armor that only our firefighting peers can pierce.
Buck put in the work to be a 30-year firefighter and then put in the work to keep his marriage intact. He realized that his family, particularly his wife, didn’t witness the calls that haunted him. They experienced the Buck who lashed out and was unable to articulate the trauma and pain that he witnessed with his brothers and sisters. Therapy allowed Buck to work through the 30 years of both rewarding and troubling service to those who needed assistance.
Dad
Dad was the Mr. Fix It engineer. There wasn’t anything that he couldn’t fix.
The nickname, Dad, was appropriate. He was that individual in the fire service who made everything better. His ability to solve problems was impressive—at the station during nonemergent calls and, particularly, when it mattered. He always had a solution that improved the outcome.
I believe that this came at a cost after he retired. Since he wasn’t challenged at a moment’s notice, he didn’t feel needed. Post-traumatic stress disorder also creeped in from all of the death that Dad saw over his career. Nightmares plagued him nightly.
Unlike Buck, Dad turned his attention to other therapeutic avenues. He loves his pets. He always had dogs, but his wife added a horse to the family, and Dad found a new purpose. He might have been brash in the fire service, but he is the biggest teddy bear when pets—with their unconditional love—are involved.
Dad’s support system today is his family and first responder family.
Physical, mental and emotional help
Dad struggled emotionally, psychologically and physically with retirement. I know this, because I am close to him—and to Buck. Both of them have been two of the most inspirational mentors in the fire service and in life. They both experienced the separation of the fire service and questioned whether everything would be all right. They don’t have all of the answers to all of the questions, but they have been there and done that in life and retirement after the fire service.
Many support groups, therapists and doctors are available to assist firefighters. Buck and Dad are extraordinarily strong individuals who have strong personalities, but they realized that they needed help. It’s OK to be on the receiving end of physical, mental and emotional help from others.
Everyone needs a Buck and Dad to show them that everything will be all right.
Shawn Drake Morton
Shawn Drake Morton is a division chief for Monrovia, CA, Fire & Rescue, with which he has served since 1994. He entered the fire service as a volunteer in 1989. Morton has a bachelor's degree from California State University-Long Beach and has written multiple grants for his department. The most prominent grants involved receiving a Type I tactical water tender and Plymovent Exhaust System for each station.
