Leadership Lessons: Show Them, Don’t Tell Them

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where someone is telling you to do something differently, but they don’t specify what the issue is or provide direction as to what steps you need to take or what you need to do differently to address the issue? Of course you have; we have all been there. After all, we are all human and quite susceptible to making mistakes. 

Addressing problems

We’ve all received that call, email or “invitation” to the office, clearly indicating that we are doing something wrong. You may be lucky enough to receive a copy of the “how-to” manual or policy on the issue, but in the end, you are left to figure it out on your own. Needless to say, this is not the most effective approach, and it almost certainly does little to fix the situation. Quite simply, when someone is left to figure out what is being done right and what is wrong, with no basis for distinguishing between the two, there is no context informing any decision-making. How can anyone correct the unknown?

I recognize that we all have busy schedules, and the people you are leading are no different. Their time is important to them, but how they spend their time on the job should be important to you as well. The time they are using to figure out what they need to change is no longer being used to do the job itself, let alone improve. 

As such, it is imperative that you show them exactly where they're not meeting expectations, and then coach them to success. Explain what they need to improve, make suggestions as to how to improve, and then show them how to be successful. Merely saying, “I gave you the policy or the procedure; you're smart, figure it out,” is nothing more than a leadership failure—leadership laziness.

The measure of good leadership is the willingness to set the example of taking ownership of a failure, clarifying the issue, setting expectations and providing guidance in creating a path to success. In other words, get your own house in order, and then help others to do the same, in a way that is equally authoritative and cooperative. You will then have a better sense of how to identify, explain and elucidate the steps necessary to bring about effective change. 

Praise, correct, praise

It is important to mention here that everyone learns differently, so it may take more than one time or method to show someone how to correct or improve his or her efforts. Most people learn best by doing, not only hearing, seeing or reading. How does a good leader address this? I use the tried, true and highly effective method of praise, correct, praise.

Begin by highlighting the things someone is doing well in relation to the overall topic of discussion, then follow the praise with a clear explanation of the actions or issues you need corrected. Included in this is a very important step: providing the reasons why the issue needs to be corrected as well as the steps and expectations for doing so.

Once you have acknowledged the positive work and clearly identified the issue and what is needed to improve, be sure to close on a high note and finish with more praise. After all, we all appreciate being recognized for a job well done—but be genuine about it. 

Finally, don’t forget an important part of good communication—encouraging people to ask if they have any questions. Simply saying that the issue has been previously discussed does not get the job done. Effective leaders must avoid being impersonal and lazy; you’re in a position to be a coach and a leader, not just a manager.

In sum

If you want to move the needle in a direction that gets things done, it is best to provide clear expectations, but when issues arise, take a positive approach to correction. First, praise the good, then clarify issues, highlighting the steps necessary to improve. Finally, follow up with praise. Like most things, it is rarely what you say, but more so how you communicate your message. The best leaders get results, and meaningful results come about by showing, rather than just telling, others what it means to be successful.